Thursday, May 10, 2007
Bring the Pain
Wow, sorry about the long stint between post. Just been busy doing nothing. And not had really much to talk about, nothing to talk about with Mel, been nothing else in my life really been worth talking about.
I had my meeting with Creditors this week, so I am pretty much debt free. I just have to do some kind of online pre-discharge course online, and that should be it. Man it all gets complicated to file now.
After the hearing, I went to see Spider-man 3. I absolutely loved it. I thought it was the best of the trilogy. I am not sure what movie people besides me were watching because I did not feel like it dragged at all. I thought the second one dragged on way more, and most people loved it. Maybe I liked it more than most because I was hearing how disappointed others were, and by the time I seen it, the hype was in the negative zone.
Wrote the first chapter of my novel. Chapter 2 is nearly finished. This is big for me, I have not finished a chapter in a book in a long time. Its like mywriters block is starting to fade away.
I miss Mel, I have a feeling she has totally lost intrest. She never is online anymore, she never answers my email, occasionally she will send me a mesage on yahoo messenger, she stil talks to me at the bank, but nowhere else, so I think in my heart its time to really cut my losses, I really wish I knew what happened. It just seems strange. Sigh, oh well, I have been alone before, whatever is supposed to happen will happen. I better not hear someone had something to do with this, so help me God.
I may have to give up the wonderful world of Tarot card readings, because I am too damn good at it. Seriously, the other night I found out more from a co worker that I should have ever found out. The poor girl started crying. No one wants to be so accurate at this that they hurt some one doing it.
My mom found out on Monday that they are closing down her plant, where she worked for 31 years. They are moving people around to differnt plants, she is nervous, she is afraid that they will try to get rid of her because she is older, she has a lot of senority, I am sure everything will be fine.
My life sometimes reminds me of this passage from , The latest Dresden files book:
You realize there are more flavors of pain than coffee. There's the little empty pain of leaving something behind-graduating, taking the next step forward, walking out of something familiar and safe into the unknown. There's the big, whrling pain of life upending all your plans and expectations. There's the sharp little pain of failure, and the more obscure aches of successess that didn't give you what you thought they would. There are the vicious, stabbing pains of hopes being torn up. The sweet little pains of finding others, giving them your love, and taking joy in their life as they grow and learn. There's the steady pain of empathy that you shrug off so you can stand by a wounded friend and help them bear their burdens.
And if you're very, very, lucky, there are a few blazing hot little pains you feel when you realize that you are standing in a moment of utter perfection, and instant of triumph, or happiness, or mirth which at the same time cannot possibly last-and yet will remain with you for life.
Everyone is down on Pain, because they forget something important about it: Pain is for the living. Only the Dead don't feel it.
Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it's a big part, and sometimes it isn't, but eithier way, it's part of the big puzzle, and deep music, the great game. Pain does two things: It teaches you, tells you that you're alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Eithier way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another.
Its life right, I wish I felt like Febuary all over again. Sorry for the melancholy post this week. Its been awhile, pray that the next post will be a happy one again.
Robert
I had my meeting with Creditors this week, so I am pretty much debt free. I just have to do some kind of online pre-discharge course online, and that should be it. Man it all gets complicated to file now.
After the hearing, I went to see Spider-man 3. I absolutely loved it. I thought it was the best of the trilogy. I am not sure what movie people besides me were watching because I did not feel like it dragged at all. I thought the second one dragged on way more, and most people loved it. Maybe I liked it more than most because I was hearing how disappointed others were, and by the time I seen it, the hype was in the negative zone.
Wrote the first chapter of my novel. Chapter 2 is nearly finished. This is big for me, I have not finished a chapter in a book in a long time. Its like mywriters block is starting to fade away.
I miss Mel, I have a feeling she has totally lost intrest. She never is online anymore, she never answers my email, occasionally she will send me a mesage on yahoo messenger, she stil talks to me at the bank, but nowhere else, so I think in my heart its time to really cut my losses, I really wish I knew what happened. It just seems strange. Sigh, oh well, I have been alone before, whatever is supposed to happen will happen. I better not hear someone had something to do with this, so help me God.
I may have to give up the wonderful world of Tarot card readings, because I am too damn good at it. Seriously, the other night I found out more from a co worker that I should have ever found out. The poor girl started crying. No one wants to be so accurate at this that they hurt some one doing it.
My mom found out on Monday that they are closing down her plant, where she worked for 31 years. They are moving people around to differnt plants, she is nervous, she is afraid that they will try to get rid of her because she is older, she has a lot of senority, I am sure everything will be fine.
My life sometimes reminds me of this passage from , The latest Dresden files book:
You realize there are more flavors of pain than coffee. There's the little empty pain of leaving something behind-graduating, taking the next step forward, walking out of something familiar and safe into the unknown. There's the big, whrling pain of life upending all your plans and expectations. There's the sharp little pain of failure, and the more obscure aches of successess that didn't give you what you thought they would. There are the vicious, stabbing pains of hopes being torn up. The sweet little pains of finding others, giving them your love, and taking joy in their life as they grow and learn. There's the steady pain of empathy that you shrug off so you can stand by a wounded friend and help them bear their burdens.
And if you're very, very, lucky, there are a few blazing hot little pains you feel when you realize that you are standing in a moment of utter perfection, and instant of triumph, or happiness, or mirth which at the same time cannot possibly last-and yet will remain with you for life.
Everyone is down on Pain, because they forget something important about it: Pain is for the living. Only the Dead don't feel it.
Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it's a big part, and sometimes it isn't, but eithier way, it's part of the big puzzle, and deep music, the great game. Pain does two things: It teaches you, tells you that you're alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Eithier way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another.
Its life right, I wish I felt like Febuary all over again. Sorry for the melancholy post this week. Its been awhile, pray that the next post will be a happy one again.
Robert
posted by Hendersonman at 5:18 PM, | 
2 Comments:
I'm sorry that your mom's plant is closing. It seems that NAFTA is hitting that area with a vengeance.
I know it seems like things are down now (and often) but everything happens for a reason. Give Mel some space - she is probably busy with the end of school and such - and if she isn't as keen as she was, at least she helped you get over the ex even more. Or you could do somethings to wow her again....