My Honor is my life

Ever had those days where the Universe Speaks to you. I had one of those the other night. I was sitting here when my old friend Audrey, a fellow blogger, sent me an IM. I have not really talked to her in a few months. She said she had gone through some old emails and seen one from me and decided to give me a call.

We talked for ten minutes. And she asked me if I was still writing. I told her no, not really. She told me that I should continue to do it. I was a good writer. It was good talking to her, I had been so down in the dumps. She made me feel good, I mean its not every day a model from LA gives you a pep talk. Thanks Audrey.

Then the next night, the guy who got me into writing at Eden Studios called me on Skype. And he asked if I was still writing.. and then said the same thing, I was a good writer, and I should keep writing.

I wish I had more self confidence. But it did sound good coming from these two. I have respect for both of them. And I think I needed a little encouragement besides what I get from here (I cant forget the other two ladies in my life HUGZ)(that sounded so gay didnt it).

Anyway just wanted to say hi, while I was on an upbeat turn. Talk to you later

Robert

Last week I had a dream about my ex wife again. Its been a long time to have one of these dreams. I just wonder if I will have these dreams the rest of my life, because this one hurt.

I was haning out with friends, in some two story house. And I came down stairs to see her. She was laying in bed watching tv. And commented about something someone said. So I told her I loved her, and then I lay down beside her. It was weird, because of the way all this seemed normal.

And I started telling her that I know we have been busy with work. And that we had drifted apart over the last few months, but I loved her and I wanted to work out our problems. And she started crying, and shaking her head. Like she understood.

I woke up, and did not think about it much. I went through my day. Looking for jobs, playing games, checking the iternet. And day grew to night and about half an hour before bed, I just started to cry. I just could not stop crying. I just felt the lonliest I have ever felt. Finally I fell asleep, and during the night I had another dream about her.

This one was not too specific. I can not remeber anything about it. But I just know she was there with me. And when I woke up the dream just vanished from my thughts.

Now 2 days in a row was odd. But by the third morning, I was worried about her. I had a dream where she lay in a dark bedroom, on a white bed. She was naked. And I walked over to her and asked if she was okay. When she rolled over, she was drenched with sweat. And I touched her forhead, and she was burning with a fever. I covered her up and lay down beside her. It was just weird.

I was glad when I seen she visited the blog later that day becuase I really was worried about her. I have no idea what any of those dreams meant. Maybe they are just reminders of how empty my life is. Maybe they are the universe teling me that if I done something I coul have changed my faith. or maybe it was just ating Chinese food three days in a row.

It looks like my co-host wont be able to make the show on Sunday. So there is a possibility that I may be doing it solo. I am sure one of the other guys will journey across the bridge to give me a hand.

It will be the 17th show. We have not missed a week yet. At least I know I can do something that works. I was not going to do the show, but a few of the audience seemed to be annoyed that was not going to do it, so I promise them a short show if someone does not show up. Hell maybe my mom will co-host it with me.

I woke up to take her to work Monday morning. And could not find my glasses anywhere. That it is a weird feeling. I cant see anything with out them which made finding them even more difficult.

Time was running out so I thought I was going to have to drive without them. Its a short drive to her work. But luckily my old glasses where in a drawer. Andit felt odd wearing those things they weighed a ton.

When I got home I found them in the bed. Not sure how they got there becuase I never sleep in my glasses. I wondered if I went sleepwalking somewhere.

Mom and I are thinking about getting pug after we get tax money. I really want one. I miss little Tiki. I just hope I can find a job soon. I dont want to work at Mcdonalds or something. I think of that and it really makes wanting to live that much harder.

American Idol started this week. And I am not watching it. I started watching it Last year because it gave me something to talk to Mel about. Its hard to believe that next week would have been a year for us talkng. Never have heard from her. Oh well. Not that I am suprised.

I entered to be part of the review crew for Allgames.com. Our editor would be a Member of the LA Daily News. But I did not make it, I think my review was too dry. SO I am not sure how close in the running I was. But i can always submit columns to them, and maybe earn me a spot that way.

However this week I was trusted by one of the host enough to keep track of what went on in the show. So that was interesting. I m not sure why Mayor Young chose me, but I felt good that they thought me trustworthy enough.

Ok well I guess I am going to get off here. This is the longest post I have had i awhile. Have a good night.

Robert

Monday was baby night for lots of people who knew me. Ben's wife was rushed to the hospital because she was having trouble breathing. A few hours later they decided that they had to take the twins because her blood pressure was through the roof. (Same thing happened to my ex wife's mother, and she was a twin also).


Emma And Kane were born on Monday. Mother and babies are doing fine. As of yesterday. The girl looks like her mother, and the poor boy looks like his dad.
And yes the boy his named after a pro wrestler,sigh.

The babies are in an incubator after they were born. I am not sure how they are today. Mom seen them last night. They were trying to make it to 32 before she had them, she made it to week 29.

In Newyork the same day and almost at the same time. My friend Ron, from xbox live DarklordRS (thats his gamertag) had his little girl. Kind of interesting in a way. I could not have predicted that.

Yesterday would have been 8 years. My finger still bears the mark. But its fading.

My old boss called me yesterday. I learned that he got laid off a few weeks after I did. They gave his store to someone else, who was a friend of the DM. We were discriminated against. We lost our jobs so friends of his could keep theres. I hope that faggot son of a bitch gets everything in his life he deserves. I was there longer than he was. In fact I hope everyone in that office who was responsible gets what they deserve. I know its not very nice. But how many time have they had to lay in bed and wonder, are they really going to be alright.

Anyway. Have a good day

Robert